Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I'd Known Earlier [PART-1]
Harsh Batra
90 INSIGHTS
IS THERE MORE?
Listening well is a superpower. While listening to someone you love keep asking them “Is there more?” until there is no more.
HAVE A DEADLINE
Always demand a deadline because it weeds out the extraneous and the ordinary. A deadline prevents you from trying to make it perfect so you have to make it different. Different is better.
PROTOTYPE
Prototype your life. Try stuff instead of making grand plans.
BE GRATEFUL
Gratitude will unlock all other virtues and is something you can get better at.
TREAT PEOPLE TO A MEAL
Treating a person to a meal never fails and is so easy to do. It’s powerful with old friends and a great way to make new friends.
PAIN NOT SUFFERING
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
HEALTH TIP
Movement plus variety equals health.
HAVE A CRAZY GOAL
The advantage of a ridiculously ambitious goal is that it sets the bar very high so even if your effort falls short it may exceed an ordinary success.
TEACH TO LEARN
The best way to learn anything is to try to teach what you know.
WHAT DOES SUCCESS LOOK LIKE FOR YOU?
The best way to get to yes in a negotiation is to truly understand what yes means for the other party.
WRITE TO THINK
Draw to discover what you see. Write to discover what you think.
TAKE THE PATH OF CHANGE
Whenever you can’t decide which path to take pick the one that produces change.
BE KNOWN AS THE PERSON WHO ALWAYS TURNS UP
Don’t focus on getting into shape. Focus on becoming the kind of person who never misses a workout.
ASK FOR PROOF
You should demand extraordinary evidence in order to believe extraordinary claims.
THIS IS HOW YOU GET TO THE TRUTH
Rule of 3 in conversation: To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and then once more. The third time’s answer is the one closest to the truth.
RECOVER FROM INEVITABLE FAILURES
Pros make as many mistakes as amateurs; they’ve just learned how to gracefully recover from their mistakes.
THERE IS ONLY ONE OF YOU
Don’t be the best. Be the only.
TO BE INTERESTING, BE INTERESTED
The more you are interested in others the more interesting they’ll find you.
TRY AGAIN
Don’t take it personally when someone turns you down. Assume they are like you: busy, occupied, distracted. Try again later. It’s amazing how often a second try works.
A HABIT REMOVES THE DECISION MAKING
The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it. Good habits can range from telling the truth to flossing.
DON'T MAKE PEOPLE WAIT
Promptness is a sign of respect.
BE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR EXPECTATIONS
You lead by letting others know what you expect of them which may exceed what they themselves expect. Provide them a reputation that they can step up to.
REDO TO GO FROM GOOD TO GREAT
To make something good, just do it. To make something great, just redo it redo it, redo it. The secret to making fine things is in remaking them.
SEPARATE THE PROCESS OF CREATING FROM IMPROVING
You can’t write and edit or sculpt and polish or make and analyze at the same time. If you do, the editor stops the creator. While you invent, don’t select. While you sketch, don’t inspect. While you write the first draft, don’t reflect. At the start, the creator mind must be unleashed from judgment.
GIVE TO GET
Perhaps the most counterintuitive truth of the universe is that the more you give to others the more you’ll get. Understanding this is the beginning of wisdom.
KEEP SHOWING UP
99% of success is just showing up. In fact, most success is just persistence.
FORGIVE WITHOUT AN APOLOGY
Forgiveness is accepting the apology you will never get.
BE MORE GENEROUS
Be more generous than necessary. No one on their deathbed has ever regretted giving too much away. There is no point to being the richest person in the cemetery.
LET YOUR IMAGINATION LOOSE
Anything real begins with the fiction of what could be. Imagination is therefore the most potent force in the universe. And you can get better at it. It’s the one skill in life that benefits from ignoring what everyone else knows.
LEARN FROM THE CRAP
When crises strike don’t waste them. No problems, no progress.
AVOID FAME
You really don’t want to be famous. Read the biography of any famous person.
WOULD YOU DO THIS TOMORROW?
When you get invited to do something in the future ask yourself: Would I do this tomorrow? Not too many promises will pass that immediacy filter.
LESS IS MORE
Art is in what you leave out.
HAVE A DEADLINE
Always demand a deadline because it weeds out the extraneous and the ordinary. A deadline prevents you from trying to make it perfect so you have to make it different. Different is better.
PROTOTYPE
Prototype your life. Try stuff instead of making grand plans.
BE GRATEFUL
Gratitude will unlock all other virtues and is something you can get better at.
TREAT PEOPLE TO A MEAL
Treating a person to a meal never fails and is so easy to do. It’s powerful with old friends and a great way to make new friends.
PAIN NOT SUFFERING
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
HEALTH TIP
Movement plus variety equals health.
HAVE A CRAZY GOAL
The advantage of a ridiculously ambitious goal is that it sets the bar very high so even if your effort falls short it may exceed an ordinary success.
TEACH TO LEARN
The best way to learn anything is to try to teach what you know.
WHAT DOES SUCCESS LOOK LIKE FOR YOU?
The best way to get to yes in a negotiation is to truly understand what yes means for the other party.
WRITE TO THINK
Draw to discover what you see. Write to discover what you think.
TAKE THE PATH OF CHANGE
Whenever you can’t decide which path to take pick the one that produces change.
BE KNOWN AS THE PERSON WHO ALWAYS TURNS UP
Don’t focus on getting into shape. Focus on becoming the kind of person who never misses a workout.
ASK FOR PROOF
You should demand extraordinary evidence in order to believe extraordinary claims.
THIS IS HOW YOU GET TO THE TRUTH
Rule of 3 in conversation: To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and then once more. The third time’s answer is the one closest to the truth.
RECOVER FROM INEVITABLE FAILURES
Pros make as many mistakes as amateurs; they’ve just learned how to gracefully recover from their mistakes.
THERE IS ONLY ONE OF YOU
Don’t be the best. Be the only.
TO BE INTERESTING, BE INTERESTED
The more you are interested in others the more interesting they’ll find you.
TRY AGAIN
Don’t take it personally when someone turns you down. Assume they are like you: busy, occupied, distracted. Try again later. It’s amazing how often a second try works.
A HABIT REMOVES THE DECISION MAKING
The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it. Good habits can range from telling the truth to flossing.
DON'T MAKE PEOPLE WAIT
Promptness is a sign of respect.
BE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR EXPECTATIONS
You lead by letting others know what you expect of them which may exceed what they themselves expect. Provide them a reputation that they can step up to.
REDO TO GO FROM GOOD TO GREAT
To make something good, just do it. To make something great, just redo it redo it, redo it. The secret to making fine things is in remaking them.
SEPARATE THE PROCESS OF CREATING FROM IMPROVING
You can’t write and edit or sculpt and polish or make and analyze at the same time. If you do, the editor stops the creator. While you invent, don’t select. While you sketch, don’t inspect. While you write the first draft, don’t reflect. At the start, the creator mind must be unleashed from judgment.
GIVE TO GET
Perhaps the most counterintuitive truth of the universe is that the more you give to others the more you’ll get. Understanding this is the beginning of wisdom.
KEEP SHOWING UP
99% of success is just showing up. In fact, most success is just persistence.
FORGIVE WITHOUT AN APOLOGY
Forgiveness is accepting the apology you will never get.
BE MORE GENEROUS
Be more generous than necessary. No one on their deathbed has ever regretted giving too much away. There is no point to being the richest person in the cemetery.
LET YOUR IMAGINATION LOOSE
Anything real begins with the fiction of what could be. Imagination is therefore the most potent force in the universe. And you can get better at it. It’s the one skill in life that benefits from ignoring what everyone else knows.
LEARN FROM THE CRAP
When crises strike don’t waste them. No problems, no progress.
AVOID FAME
You really don’t want to be famous. Read the biography of any famous person.
WOULD YOU DO THIS TOMORROW?
When you get invited to do something in the future ask yourself: Would I do this tomorrow? Not too many promises will pass that immediacy filter.
LESS IS MORE
Art is in what you leave out.
EXPERIENCES OVER THINGS
Acquiring things will rarely bring you deep satisfaction. But acquiring experiences will.
WHERE IS YOUR TIME GOING?
You are what you do. Not what you say not what you believe not how you vote but what you spend your time on.
HIRE FOR ATTITUDE NOT EXPERIENCE
Experience is overrated. Most breakthrough accomplishments were done by people doing them for the first time. Therefore when hiring hire for aptitude and attitude and then train for skills.
WHAT ARE THE INCENTIVES?
Don’t bother asking a barber if you need a haircut.
MASTER SOMETHING
Following your bliss is a recipe for paralysis if you don’t know what you are passionate about. A better path for most youth is “master something.” Through mastery of one thing you’ll command a viewpoint to steadily find where your bliss is.
GET RICH SLOW
Investing small amounts of money over a long time works miracles but no one wants to get rich slow.
OUR FAMILY DOES X
To build strong children reinforce their sense of belonging to a family by articulating exactly what is distinctive about your family. They should be able to say with pride “Our family does X.”
TREAT YOUR EMPLOYEES WELL
Train employees well enough that they could get another job but treat them well enough that they never want to.
MORE MONEY MORE WORK
Don’t create things to make money; make money so you can create things. The reward for good work is more work.
CELEBRATE THE SMALL WINS
On the way to a grand goal celebrate the smallest victories as if each one were the final goal. That way, no matter where it ends you are victorious.
START WITH THE END IN MIND
In all things—except love— start with the exit strategy. Prepare for the ending. Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
MAY NOT BE YOUR FAULT, BUT IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
The foundation of maturity: Just because it’s not your fault doesn’t mean it’s not your responsibility.
KEEP CREATING BAD IDEAS
A multitude of bad ideas is necessary for one good idea.
"I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DO YOU THINK?"
When a child asks an endless string of “Why?” questions, the smartest reply is “I don’t know, what do you think?”
UNDERPROMISE. OVERDELIVER.
Recipe for success: underpromise and overdeliver.
BE CALM
Calm is contagious. Be calm to help others.
OTHERS AREN'T THINKING OF YOU
Ignore what others may be thinking of you because they aren’t thinking of you.
WRITE 1 GRATITUDE
Writing down one thing you are grateful for each day is the cheapest possible therapy ever.
"HOW ARE YOU SLEEPING?"
You’ll learn a lot more if you ask people “how are you sleeping?” instead of “how are you doing?”
COPY YOUR HEROES
To transcend the influence of your heroes copy them shamelessly like a student until you get them out of your system. That is the way of all masters.
SLEEP ON IT
When you are stuck, sleep on it. Give your subconscious an assignment while you sleep. You’ll have an answer in the morning.
HAVE RULES
Children totally accept —and crave—family rules. “In our family we have a rule for X” is the only excuse a parent needs for setting a family policy. In fact, “I have a rule for X” is the only excuse you need for your own personal policies. (1)
SLOW IS GOOD
Bad things can happen fast but almost all good things happen slowly.
GOALS VS DREAMS
If your goal does not have a schedule, it is a dream.
READ
To be remarkable, read books.
PLAY INFINITE GAMES
Finite games are played to win or lose. Infinite games are played to keep the game going. Seek out infinite games because they yield unlimited rewards.
WHERE IS YOUR TIME GOING?
You are what you do. Not what you say not what you believe not how you vote but what you spend your time on.
HIRE FOR ATTITUDE NOT EXPERIENCE
Experience is overrated. Most breakthrough accomplishments were done by people doing them for the first time. Therefore when hiring hire for aptitude and attitude and then train for skills.
WHAT ARE THE INCENTIVES?
Don’t bother asking a barber if you need a haircut.
MASTER SOMETHING
Following your bliss is a recipe for paralysis if you don’t know what you are passionate about. A better path for most youth is “master something.” Through mastery of one thing you’ll command a viewpoint to steadily find where your bliss is.
GET RICH SLOW
Investing small amounts of money over a long time works miracles but no one wants to get rich slow.
OUR FAMILY DOES X
To build strong children reinforce their sense of belonging to a family by articulating exactly what is distinctive about your family. They should be able to say with pride “Our family does X.”
TREAT YOUR EMPLOYEES WELL
Train employees well enough that they could get another job but treat them well enough that they never want to.
MORE MONEY MORE WORK
Don’t create things to make money; make money so you can create things. The reward for good work is more work.
CELEBRATE THE SMALL WINS
On the way to a grand goal celebrate the smallest victories as if each one were the final goal. That way, no matter where it ends you are victorious.
START WITH THE END IN MIND
In all things—except love— start with the exit strategy. Prepare for the ending. Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
MAY NOT BE YOUR FAULT, BUT IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
The foundation of maturity: Just because it’s not your fault doesn’t mean it’s not your responsibility.
KEEP CREATING BAD IDEAS
A multitude of bad ideas is necessary for one good idea.
"I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DO YOU THINK?"
When a child asks an endless string of “Why?” questions, the smartest reply is “I don’t know, what do you think?”
UNDERPROMISE. OVERDELIVER.
Recipe for success: underpromise and overdeliver.
BE CALM
Calm is contagious. Be calm to help others.
OTHERS AREN'T THINKING OF YOU
Ignore what others may be thinking of you because they aren’t thinking of you.
WRITE 1 GRATITUDE
Writing down one thing you are grateful for each day is the cheapest possible therapy ever.
"HOW ARE YOU SLEEPING?"
You’ll learn a lot more if you ask people “how are you sleeping?” instead of “how are you doing?”
COPY YOUR HEROES
To transcend the influence of your heroes copy them shamelessly like a student until you get them out of your system. That is the way of all masters.
SLEEP ON IT
When you are stuck, sleep on it. Give your subconscious an assignment while you sleep. You’ll have an answer in the morning.
HAVE RULES
Children totally accept —and crave—family rules. “In our family we have a rule for X” is the only excuse a parent needs for setting a family policy. In fact, “I have a rule for X” is the only excuse you need for your own personal policies. (1)
SLOW IS GOOD
Bad things can happen fast but almost all good things happen slowly.
GOALS VS DREAMS
If your goal does not have a schedule, it is a dream.
READ
To be remarkable, read books.
PLAY INFINITE GAMES
Finite games are played to win or lose. Infinite games are played to keep the game going. Seek out infinite games because they yield unlimited rewards.
SUCCESS VS WEALTH
To succeed, get other people to pay you; to become wealthy, help other people to succeed.
TO COMBAT AN ADVERSARY BECOME THEIR FRIEND
12 PEOPLE
Cultivate 12 people who love you because they are worth more than 12 million people who like you.
GIVE OTHERS THE SPOTLIGHT
Always be quick to give credit and to take blame.
DON'T SHOW OFF
No one is as impressed with your possessions as you are.
DON'T KEEP OR GIVE SECRETS
No secrets. You are much better off delivering unwelcome news to someone yourself directly. A secret is rarely unknown, which means inevitably someone else will share it. Meanwhile, the secret corrodes all who hold it. Resist accepting secrets.
WHEN IS YOUR ME TIME?
Figure out what time of day you are most productive and protect that time period.
DO
The greatest teacher is called “doing.”
"BUT"
Anything you say before the word “but” does not count.
COURTESY COSTS NOTHING
When you borrow something, return it cleaned. Lower the toilet seat after use. Let the car in front of you merge. Return shopping carts to their designated areas. Let the people in the elevator exit before you enter. These courtesies are free.
FIND THE THIRD SIDE
Whenever there is an argument between two sides find the third side.
DO SMALL THINGS EVERYDAY
The consistency of your endeavors (exercise, companionship, work) is more important than the quantity. Nothing beats small things done every day which is way more important than what you do occasionally.
CREATE LEADERS NOT FOLLOWERS
When you lead your real job is to create more leaders not more followers.
THE BEST WORK ETHIC REQUIRES A GOOD REST ETHIC
Efficiency is highly overrated; goofing off is highly underrated. Regularly scheduled sabbaths, sabbaticals vacations, breaks, aimless walks and time off are essential for top performance of any kind.
RIGHT AND WRONG
Speak confidently as if you are right but listen carefully as if you are wrong.
FIND TASKS THAT YOU NEVER WANT TO STOP DOING
Productivity is often a distraction. Don’t aim for better ways to get through your tasks as quickly as possible. Instead aim for better tasks that you never want to stop doing.
PACK LIGHT
Your enjoyment of travel is inversely proportional to the size of your luggage. This is 100% true of backpacking. It is liberating to realize how little you really need.
FUNDING TIP
Ask funders for money and they’ll give you advice; but ask for advice and they’ll give you money.
WRITE SHIT DOWN
The biggest lie we tell ourselves is “I don’t need to write this down because I will remember it.”
GOLDEN RULE
Criticize in private, praise in public.
MAKE IT NOVEL
Don’t keep making the same mistakes; try to make new mistakes.
DON'T BUY LATE
Don’t buy anything late at night. There is nothing you need to buy that cannot wait till tomorrow morning.
GIVE BAD NEWS FIRST
When you have good news and bad news, give the bad news first because we remember how things end more than how they begin. So elevate the ending with good news.
PAY FAST
Immediately pay what you owe to vendors, workers, contractors. If you do, they will go out of their way to work with you first next time.
"CAN YOU DO BETTER?"
The four most powerful words in any negotiation should be uttered by you: “Can you do better?”
NO SCREEN MEALS
You can find no better medicine for your family than regular meals together without screens.
WATER AND SHADE IS PRIORITY NUMBER 1
In a genuine survival situation, you can go 3 weeks without food and 3 days without water but only 3 hours without warmth or shade. So don’t worry about food. Focus on temperature and water.
BE QUICK TO APOLOGISE
When you are in the wrong be quick to chastise yourself more severely than the aggrieved might. Paradoxically, this can soften their ire.
BE ALONE BUT NOT LONELY
Learn how to be alone without being lonely. Solitude is essential for creativity.
DO 5 MORE
When you feel like quitting just do five more: 5 more minutes, 5 more pages 5 more steps. Then repeat. Sometimes you can break through and keep going but even if you can’t, you ended five ahead. Tell yourself that you will quit tomorrow but not today.
PREGNANT?
Never ask someone if they are pregnant. Let them tell you.
TO COMBAT AN ADVERSARY BECOME THEIR FRIEND
12 PEOPLE
Cultivate 12 people who love you because they are worth more than 12 million people who like you.
GIVE OTHERS THE SPOTLIGHT
Always be quick to give credit and to take blame.
DON'T SHOW OFF
No one is as impressed with your possessions as you are.
DON'T KEEP OR GIVE SECRETS
No secrets. You are much better off delivering unwelcome news to someone yourself directly. A secret is rarely unknown, which means inevitably someone else will share it. Meanwhile, the secret corrodes all who hold it. Resist accepting secrets.
WHEN IS YOUR ME TIME?
Figure out what time of day you are most productive and protect that time period.
DO
The greatest teacher is called “doing.”
"BUT"
Anything you say before the word “but” does not count.
COURTESY COSTS NOTHING
When you borrow something, return it cleaned. Lower the toilet seat after use. Let the car in front of you merge. Return shopping carts to their designated areas. Let the people in the elevator exit before you enter. These courtesies are free.
FIND THE THIRD SIDE
Whenever there is an argument between two sides find the third side.
DO SMALL THINGS EVERYDAY
The consistency of your endeavors (exercise, companionship, work) is more important than the quantity. Nothing beats small things done every day which is way more important than what you do occasionally.
CREATE LEADERS NOT FOLLOWERS
When you lead your real job is to create more leaders not more followers.
THE BEST WORK ETHIC REQUIRES A GOOD REST ETHIC
Efficiency is highly overrated; goofing off is highly underrated. Regularly scheduled sabbaths, sabbaticals vacations, breaks, aimless walks and time off are essential for top performance of any kind.
RIGHT AND WRONG
Speak confidently as if you are right but listen carefully as if you are wrong.
FIND TASKS THAT YOU NEVER WANT TO STOP DOING
Productivity is often a distraction. Don’t aim for better ways to get through your tasks as quickly as possible. Instead aim for better tasks that you never want to stop doing.
PACK LIGHT
Your enjoyment of travel is inversely proportional to the size of your luggage. This is 100% true of backpacking. It is liberating to realize how little you really need.
FUNDING TIP
Ask funders for money and they’ll give you advice; but ask for advice and they’ll give you money.
WRITE SHIT DOWN
The biggest lie we tell ourselves is “I don’t need to write this down because I will remember it.”
GOLDEN RULE
Criticize in private, praise in public.
MAKE IT NOVEL
Don’t keep making the same mistakes; try to make new mistakes.
DON'T BUY LATE
Don’t buy anything late at night. There is nothing you need to buy that cannot wait till tomorrow morning.
GIVE BAD NEWS FIRST
When you have good news and bad news, give the bad news first because we remember how things end more than how they begin. So elevate the ending with good news.
PAY FAST
Immediately pay what you owe to vendors, workers, contractors. If you do, they will go out of their way to work with you first next time.
"CAN YOU DO BETTER?"
The four most powerful words in any negotiation should be uttered by you: “Can you do better?”
NO SCREEN MEALS
You can find no better medicine for your family than regular meals together without screens.
WATER AND SHADE IS PRIORITY NUMBER 1
In a genuine survival situation, you can go 3 weeks without food and 3 days without water but only 3 hours without warmth or shade. So don’t worry about food. Focus on temperature and water.
BE QUICK TO APOLOGISE
When you are in the wrong be quick to chastise yourself more severely than the aggrieved might. Paradoxically, this can soften their ire.
BE ALONE BUT NOT LONELY
Learn how to be alone without being lonely. Solitude is essential for creativity.
DO 5 MORE
When you feel like quitting just do five more: 5 more minutes, 5 more pages 5 more steps. Then repeat. Sometimes you can break through and keep going but even if you can’t, you ended five ahead. Tell yourself that you will quit tomorrow but not today.
PREGNANT?
Never ask someone if they are pregnant. Let them tell you.