Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I'd Known Earlier [PART-2]
Harsh Batra
This week’s insights come from the book Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I'd Known Earlier. This is Part-2. Part-1 is here.
70 MORE INSIGHTS
DETOURS ARE GOOD FOR YOU
Ask anyone you admire: Their lucky breaks happened on a detour from their main goal. So embrace detours. Life is not a straight line for anyone.
MONEY TIP
To be rich you don’t need to make more money; you chiefly need to better manage the money already flowing through your hands.
REWARD GOOD BEHAVIOR
You’ll get 10 times better results by elevating good behavior rather than punishing bad behavior especially in children and animals.
FOCUS ON THE SUBJECT LINE
Spend as much time crafting the subject line of an email as the message itself because the subject line is often the only thing people read.
GETTING REFERRAL
When you’re checking references for a job applicant, their employer may be prohibited from saying anything negative so leave or send a message that says “Get back to me if you highly recommend this applicant as super great.” If they don’t reply, take that as a negative.
WHAT TO SELL?
Make stuff that is good for people to have.
ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS
Denying or deflecting a compliment is rude. Accept it with thanks even if you believe it is not deserved.
SOLUTION TO IMPOSTER SYNDROME
When you have some success, the feeling of being an imposter can be real. Who am I fooling? But when you create things that only you with your unique talents and experience can do then you are absolutely not an imposter. You are the ordained. It is your destiny to work on things that only you can do.
HOW TO GET KIDS TO BEHAVE ON A ROAD TRIP
To keep young kids behaving well on a car road trip, have a bag of their favorite unwrapped candy and throw a piece out the window each time they misbehave.
WHAT WOULD BE FAIR?
When you don’t know how much to pay someone for a particular task ask them, “What would be fair?” and their answer usually is.
REAL ESTATE STRATEGY
The general strategy for real estate is to buy the worst property on the best street.
MONEY IS NOT ENOUGH
You cannot get smart people to work extremely hard just for money.
MAKE OTHERS FEEL IMPORTANT
Make others feel they are important; it will make their day and it will make your day.
FOCUS ON THE AGREEMENTS
Constantly search for overlapping areas of agreement and dwell there. Disagreements will appear to be edge cases.
BE GOOD TO EVERYONE
You will be judged on how well you treat those who can do nothing for you.
APPLY FOR JOBS YOU ARE UNQUALIFIED FOR
Your best job will be one that you were unqualified for because it stretches you. In fact, only apply to jobs you are unqualified for.
IS IT TRUE, NECESSARY AND KIND?
A wise man said: Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, ask yourself, “Is it true?” At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?” At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?”
WHO SHOULD I BECOME?
The only productive way to answer “What should I do now?” is to first tackle the question of “Who should I become?”
BUY AND HOLD
The best investing advice: Average returns, maintained for above-average periods of time will yield extraordinary results. Buy and hold.
BE POLITE
It’s thrilling to be extremely polite to rude strangers.
START WITH THE ACTION
Most articles and stories are improved significantly if you delete the first page of the manuscript. Start with the action.
TRUST EVEN IF YOU GET CHEATED
Getting cheated occasionally is the small price for trusting the best of everyone because when you trust the best in others they generally treat you best.
SPEND MORE TIME WITH THEM
For the best results with your children spend only half the money you think you should but double the time with them.
EXPLAIN THE PROBLEM TO FIND A SOLUTION
When you are stuck explain your problem to others. Often simply laying out a problem will present a solution. Make “explaining the problem” part of your troubleshooting process.
BACK UP YOUR BACKUP
Be a pro. Back up your backup. Have at least one physical backup and one backup in the cloud. Have more than one of each. How much would you pay to retrieve all your data, photos, notes if you lost them? Backups are cheap compared to regrets.
ONLY KEEP WHAT STILL BRINGS YOU JOY
Your time and space are limited. Remove, give away, throw out anything that no longer gives you joy in order to make room for those that do.
EXPLORE OR OPTIMIZE?
The ideal balance for exploring new things vs. optimizing those already found is ⅓. Spend ⅓ of your time on exploring and ⅔ on optimizing and deepening.
BUILD THE NEW
Don’t bother fighting the old just build the new.
GO FOR THE BIGGER PIE
When negotiating don’t aim for a bigger piece of the pie; aim to create a bigger pie.
GO FOR OPPORTUNITIES NOT PROBLEMS
For maximum results focus on your biggest opportunities not your biggest problems.
IT ALL STARTS OUT LAUGHABLE
Every breakthrough is at first laughable and ridiculous. In fact, if it did not start out laughable and ridiculous it is not a breakthrough.
READ TO YOUR CHILDREN
Reading to your children regularly is the best school they will ever get.
THE PEOPLE WHO APPRECIATE YOUR WORK IS ALL THAT COUNTS
It doesn’t matter how many people don’t appreciate you or your work. The only thing that counts is how many do.
DON'T GROCERY SHOP WHEN HUNGRY
ENCOURAGE
You can really change someone’s life for the better simply by offering words of encouragement.
2-MIN RULE
When you are presented with a task that could be completed in 2 minutes or less do it immediately.
WHAT CAN WE DO TO SOLVE THIS?
When a customer of yours complains always apologize first and ask “What can we do to resolve this?” even if it is not your fault. Acting as if the customer is right is a small tax to pay to grow a business.
LOOK BACK 25 YEARS FROM NOW
The trick to making wise decisions is to evaluate your choices as if you were looking back 25 years from today. What would your future self think?
SECRET TO BE INTERESTING
To be interesting just tell your own story with uncommon honesty.
FIND DIAMONDS IN THE DUST
The main reason to produce something every day is that you must throw away a lot of good work to reach the great stuff.
BE HUMBLE
The small person believes they are superior; the superior person knows they are lucky.
FOCUS ON THE GOOD STUFF
You will thrive more —and so will others— when you promote what you love rather than bash what you hate. Life is short; focus on the good stuff.
WANT WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE
Unhappiness comes from wanting what others have. Happiness comes from wanting what you already have.
SIMPLIFY THEN EXAGGERATE
To get your message across follow this formula used by ad writers everywhere: simplify, simplify, simplify, then exaggerate.
TRUST YOUR FEELING
Pay attention to who you are around when you feel your best. Be with them more often.
LOVE YOUR SPOUSE
The very best thing you can do for your kids is to love your spouse.
TRAVEL TO INTEREST NOT DESTINATIONS
To have a great trip, head toward an interest rather than to a place. Travel to passions rather than destinations.
LET THE KIDS CHOOSE
Let your children choose their punishments. They’ll be tougher than you will.
WHAT IS THE WORSE THAT CAN HAPPEN?
Fully embrace “What is the worst that can happen?” at each juncture in life. Rehearsing your response to the “worst” can reveal it as an adventure and rob it of its power to stall you.
MAKE AWFUL TO MAKE GREAT
Make one to throw away. The only way to write a great book is to first write an awful book. Ditto for a movie, song, piece of furniture or anything.
GIVE
It is impossible for you to become poor by giving. It is impossible for you to become wealthy without giving.
FIGURE OUT WHAT THEY WANT AND THEN ASK THEM TO DO IT
The best way to advise young people is to find out what they really want to do and then advise them to do it.
MAKE THE CHANGE BIG
It is usually much easier to make big audacious changes than small incremental ones.
DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT
There is no perfection, only progress. Done is much better than perfect.
SETBACKS ARE TEMPORARY
You choose to be lucky by believing that any setbacks are just temporary.
HOW TO IDENTIFY A THIEF
It is not hard to identify a thief: It is the one who believes that everybody steals.
WHICH CHOICE WILL PAY OFF MORE LATER?
When you can’t decide ask yourself, “Which choice will pay off more later than now?” The easy choice pays off right away. The best choice will pay off at the end.
LAUGH AT YOURSELF
To learn from your mistakes first laugh at your mistakes.
SOLUTION TO IMPOSTER SYNDROME
When you have some success, the feeling of being an imposter can be real. Who am I fooling? But when you create things that only you with your unique talents and experience can do then you are absolutely not an imposter. You are the ordained. It is your destiny to work on things that only you can do.
HOW TO GET KIDS TO BEHAVE ON A ROAD TRIP
To keep young kids behaving well on a car road trip, have a bag of their favorite unwrapped candy and throw a piece out the window each time they misbehave.
WHAT WOULD BE FAIR?
When you don’t know how much to pay someone for a particular task ask them, “What would be fair?” and their answer usually is.
REAL ESTATE STRATEGY
The general strategy for real estate is to buy the worst property on the best street.
MONEY IS NOT ENOUGH
You cannot get smart people to work extremely hard just for money.
MAKE OTHERS FEEL IMPORTANT
Make others feel they are important; it will make their day and it will make your day.
FOCUS ON THE AGREEMENTS
Constantly search for overlapping areas of agreement and dwell there. Disagreements will appear to be edge cases.
BE GOOD TO EVERYONE
You will be judged on how well you treat those who can do nothing for you.
APPLY FOR JOBS YOU ARE UNQUALIFIED FOR
Your best job will be one that you were unqualified for because it stretches you. In fact, only apply to jobs you are unqualified for.
IS IT TRUE, NECESSARY AND KIND?
A wise man said: Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, ask yourself, “Is it true?” At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?” At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?”
WHO SHOULD I BECOME?
The only productive way to answer “What should I do now?” is to first tackle the question of “Who should I become?”
BUY AND HOLD
The best investing advice: Average returns, maintained for above-average periods of time will yield extraordinary results. Buy and hold.
BE POLITE
It’s thrilling to be extremely polite to rude strangers.
START WITH THE ACTION
Most articles and stories are improved significantly if you delete the first page of the manuscript. Start with the action.
TRUST EVEN IF YOU GET CHEATED
Getting cheated occasionally is the small price for trusting the best of everyone because when you trust the best in others they generally treat you best.
SPEND MORE TIME WITH THEM
For the best results with your children spend only half the money you think you should but double the time with them.
EXPLAIN THE PROBLEM TO FIND A SOLUTION
When you are stuck explain your problem to others. Often simply laying out a problem will present a solution. Make “explaining the problem” part of your troubleshooting process.
BACK UP YOUR BACKUP
Be a pro. Back up your backup. Have at least one physical backup and one backup in the cloud. Have more than one of each. How much would you pay to retrieve all your data, photos, notes if you lost them? Backups are cheap compared to regrets.
ONLY KEEP WHAT STILL BRINGS YOU JOY
Your time and space are limited. Remove, give away, throw out anything that no longer gives you joy in order to make room for those that do.
EXPLORE OR OPTIMIZE?
The ideal balance for exploring new things vs. optimizing those already found is ⅓. Spend ⅓ of your time on exploring and ⅔ on optimizing and deepening.
BUILD THE NEW
Don’t bother fighting the old just build the new.
GO FOR THE BIGGER PIE
When negotiating don’t aim for a bigger piece of the pie; aim to create a bigger pie.
GO FOR OPPORTUNITIES NOT PROBLEMS
For maximum results focus on your biggest opportunities not your biggest problems.
IT ALL STARTS OUT LAUGHABLE
Every breakthrough is at first laughable and ridiculous. In fact, if it did not start out laughable and ridiculous it is not a breakthrough.
READ TO YOUR CHILDREN
Reading to your children regularly is the best school they will ever get.
THE PEOPLE WHO APPRECIATE YOUR WORK IS ALL THAT COUNTS
It doesn’t matter how many people don’t appreciate you or your work. The only thing that counts is how many do.
DON'T GROCERY SHOP WHEN HUNGRY
ENCOURAGE
You can really change someone’s life for the better simply by offering words of encouragement.
2-MIN RULE
When you are presented with a task that could be completed in 2 minutes or less do it immediately.
WHAT CAN WE DO TO SOLVE THIS?
When a customer of yours complains always apologize first and ask “What can we do to resolve this?” even if it is not your fault. Acting as if the customer is right is a small tax to pay to grow a business.
LOOK BACK 25 YEARS FROM NOW
The trick to making wise decisions is to evaluate your choices as if you were looking back 25 years from today. What would your future self think?
SECRET TO BE INTERESTING
To be interesting just tell your own story with uncommon honesty.
FIND DIAMONDS IN THE DUST
The main reason to produce something every day is that you must throw away a lot of good work to reach the great stuff.
BE HUMBLE
The small person believes they are superior; the superior person knows they are lucky.
FOCUS ON THE GOOD STUFF
You will thrive more —and so will others— when you promote what you love rather than bash what you hate. Life is short; focus on the good stuff.
WANT WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE
Unhappiness comes from wanting what others have. Happiness comes from wanting what you already have.
SIMPLIFY THEN EXAGGERATE
To get your message across follow this formula used by ad writers everywhere: simplify, simplify, simplify, then exaggerate.
TRUST YOUR FEELING
Pay attention to who you are around when you feel your best. Be with them more often.
LOVE YOUR SPOUSE
The very best thing you can do for your kids is to love your spouse.
TRAVEL TO INTEREST NOT DESTINATIONS
To have a great trip, head toward an interest rather than to a place. Travel to passions rather than destinations.
LET THE KIDS CHOOSE
Let your children choose their punishments. They’ll be tougher than you will.
WHAT IS THE WORSE THAT CAN HAPPEN?
Fully embrace “What is the worst that can happen?” at each juncture in life. Rehearsing your response to the “worst” can reveal it as an adventure and rob it of its power to stall you.
MAKE AWFUL TO MAKE GREAT
Make one to throw away. The only way to write a great book is to first write an awful book. Ditto for a movie, song, piece of furniture or anything.
GIVE
It is impossible for you to become poor by giving. It is impossible for you to become wealthy without giving.
FIGURE OUT WHAT THEY WANT AND THEN ASK THEM TO DO IT
The best way to advise young people is to find out what they really want to do and then advise them to do it.
MAKE THE CHANGE BIG
It is usually much easier to make big audacious changes than small incremental ones.
DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT
There is no perfection, only progress. Done is much better than perfect.
SETBACKS ARE TEMPORARY
You choose to be lucky by believing that any setbacks are just temporary.
HOW TO IDENTIFY A THIEF
It is not hard to identify a thief: It is the one who believes that everybody steals.
WHICH CHOICE WILL PAY OFF MORE LATER?
When you can’t decide ask yourself, “Which choice will pay off more later than now?” The easy choice pays off right away. The best choice will pay off at the end.
LAUGH AT YOURSELF
To learn from your mistakes first laugh at your mistakes.
INVEST IN A GREAT BED AND CHAIR
You will spend one third of your life in your bed sleeping, and almost another third in your chair sitting. It’s worth investing in a great bed and fantastic chair.
WHO DID YOU HELP TODAY?
Instead of asking your child what they learned today, ask them who they helped today.
DON'T COMPARE
The greatest killer of happiness is comparison. If you must compare, compare yourself to you yesterday.
FOCUS ON THE PROCESS THAT GAVE YOU THE OUTCOME
To succeed once focus on the outcome; to keep succeeding focus on the process that makes the outcome.
IF YOU ARE STUCK IN LIFE...
If you are stuck in life travel to a place you have never heard of.
TIME VS MONEY
The rich have money. The wealthy have time. It is easier to become wealthy than rich.
GO TOGETHER
If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go further, go together.
EVERYONE IS CONSPIRING TO MAKE YOU SUCCESSFUL
Choose to believe that the entire universe is conspiring behind your back to make you a success.
MAKE A LIST OF WHAT WON'T WORK
When you are stuck, make a long list of everything that cannot possibly work. On that list will be a seed that leads to a solution that will work.
DELAY A RESPONSE
The most effective remedy for anger is delay.
DO IT ALL
Very few regrets in life are about what you did. Almost all are about what you didn’t do.
WHO DID YOU HELP TODAY?
Instead of asking your child what they learned today, ask them who they helped today.
DON'T COMPARE
The greatest killer of happiness is comparison. If you must compare, compare yourself to you yesterday.
FOCUS ON THE PROCESS THAT GAVE YOU THE OUTCOME
To succeed once focus on the outcome; to keep succeeding focus on the process that makes the outcome.
IF YOU ARE STUCK IN LIFE...
If you are stuck in life travel to a place you have never heard of.
TIME VS MONEY
The rich have money. The wealthy have time. It is easier to become wealthy than rich.
GO TOGETHER
If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go further, go together.
EVERYONE IS CONSPIRING TO MAKE YOU SUCCESSFUL
Choose to believe that the entire universe is conspiring behind your back to make you a success.
MAKE A LIST OF WHAT WON'T WORK
When you are stuck, make a long list of everything that cannot possibly work. On that list will be a seed that leads to a solution that will work.
DELAY A RESPONSE
The most effective remedy for anger is delay.
DO IT ALL
Very few regrets in life are about what you did. Almost all are about what you didn’t do.